Breathe, Learn, Act:
An e-Care Package for Parents & Loved Ones of Trans Youth

Cover Image by Ashanti Fortson

Cover Image by Ashanti Fortson


Hello, and welcome!

Whether your child or loved one has recently come out to you as transgender or non-binary, or you’re simply looking for more information on transgender and non-binary identities: you have come to the right place!

My Kid Is Gay is an organization dedicated to answering questions that parents and loved ones may have when their child comes out as LGBTQ. We know that the parents and loved ones of transgender and non-binary youth need support and resources that are specific to those gender journeys as they work with their children to navigate the coming out process.

We know that it is a process and a journey for you, too, as the loved one of a transgender or non-binary child, and we sincerely thank you for seeking out resources to help guide you. This care package is designed to help you take a deep breath, to learn about gender, your child, and having conversations with your family and friends, and to prepare you to be the most supportive parent or loved one possible!


Breathe LearnAct


Having a child or loved one come out as trans or non-binary can sometimes feel overwhelming — there is a lot to learn and process! So, before we dive into learning the ins and outs of gender, we’ve put together some tools to help you slow down, take a moment to reflect, and breathe.

Music Playlist

Brilliant musician Laura Jane Grace curated this music playlist for you to listen to as you journey!

“In choosing songs and sequencing this playlist I tried to pick songs and arrange a flow to them that work into exactly what the playlist title suggests: Breathe, Learn, Act. Songs with wide open space to breathe, songs that have something to say and can teach you something if you’re listening and songs that inspire you to action!”

– Laura Jane Grace


Journaling & Coloring Pages

Take some time to reflect on your relationship with your kid, and how you’re feeling right now, and then grab some crayons or markers and color in this beautiful coloring page designed by Ashanti Fortson! Simply click on the images and you will be able to access the PDFs for each file. As you navigate through the care package, you’ll find worksheet buttons for two other downloadable worksheet pages as well!

Click the image to download the worksheet “Understanding and Communicating with Your Child, created by Jordan Mix!

Click the image to download the worksheet “Understanding and Communicating with Your Child, created by Jordan Mix!

Click the image to download the coloring page by Ashanti Fortson!

Click the image to download the coloring page by Ashanti Fortson!



Getting Acquainted

Even for people who spend a lot of their time studying and talking about gender, it can be a pretty abstract concept. This is a collection of work that we think best defines and explores gender.

In addition to checking out these articles, we recommend using this interactive graphic to learn more about the differences between gender and sexuality, looking through our Defining Series to get more in-depth explanations of certain terms, and completing the worksheet we’ve designed to help you reflect on the way gender operates in your own life.


Initial Questions & Responses

Finding out that your child is transgender or non-binary can sometimes be scary and overwhelming, but it’s important to remember that you are not alone with those questions, worries, and fears. Right now there are parents and children all over the world trying to navigate this same situation. Here is a selection of  advice that we’ve collected over the years for other parents & loved ones of trans and non-binary kids, as well as some of their personal narratives.


What About Transitioning?

As you’ll see in these articles, not every trans person decides to, or even wants to, undergo any kind of physical transition. That being said, it’s also possible that they might! Your kid might decide to do anything from changing their name or pronouns, to hormone replacement therapy (HRT), to gender confirmation procedures. Below is a compilation of work we’ve collected on transitioning.

How Do I Keep My Kid Safe?

Ensuring your kid’s safety means looking out for both their physical well-being, as well as their mental and emotional health. It’s normal to experience an amplified sense of worry surrounding your kid’s safety, but it’s important to learn how to mitigate that worry in a way that still allows you to be supportive of your child as they begin to live out their truth. Below are some articles responding to parents’ anxieties about their child’s safety.

In addition to the articles above, here are several emergency and legal resources that you and your kid should be aware of:

Emergency/Mental Health Resources
Trans Lifeline (877) 565-8860
Pride Counseling
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (800) 273-8255

Legal Resources
The Sylvia Rivera Law Project
Transgender Law Project



Everything you’ve learned so far has been vitally important to understanding what you and your child are going through, but now it is time to do something. Below is a collection of ways you can support your child through action.

Talking To Others

As the parent or loved one of a trans or non-binary kid, you will eventually have to have conversations with other people in your lives about your kid’s gender. These conversations might be scary, but they are important opportunities to support your child, and to help educate people who will be interacting with them, or other transgender and non-binary kids. Here are some of our favorite articles on how to talk to family, friends, and other people in your lives, as well as a worksheet to help prepare you and your family to have these conversations.



Navigating Religion

Conversations bridging religion and gender identity often come with their own challenges. Below are several resources to help you and your kid navigate faith spaces.


Asking the Questions Your Kid Shouldn't Have To

Being an advocate is one of the most important things you can do for the trans kids in your life. Here is a collection of our favorite advice on how to support your kid.

7 Questions to Ask Your Trans Kid's School

Supporting Trans Kids in Youth Sports

7 Ways to Support Someone Who's Changing Their Name or Pronouns



Our understanding of gender is constantly evolving, as is legislation about trans and other LGBTQ issues. In order to continue supporting your kid, your own learning should evolve alongside these changes. Below is a list of national organizations and resources that can help you on this journey. Please note that this is not a comprehensive list, and that there are other resources, many of them local, available to you. Lastly, please do your part in making sure that the resources you are using are created by, or are at least reputable amongst trans and non-binary youth.


Thank you so much for working to support your trans loved one!!

Contact Kristin Russo, CEO of My Kid Is Gay, with questions or suggestions. We consider this a living document that can grow and change with time!

A very special thanks to the many incredible people who worked hard to put this resource together, including: Jordan Mix (Head Curator), Ashanti Fortson (Illustrator), Maggie Tielker (Designer), Laura Jane Grace (Music Playlist), and Mel Saucedo, Hope Rorschach, carolyn (chad)wick, ala y, and Paxton Gillespie, who were all part of our larger advisory team!